Let’s get one thing clear. I wasn’t a super-chic-high-school-cheerleader. Instead of smooth flowing bleached hair, I had frizzy brown hair. I couldn’t keep my zits under control and my body didn’t resemble that of a magazine cover figure. I was awkward, extremely immature, and insecure. People would walk down the halls – people from church groups or neighborhood circles – and I was terrified to say “hello” to them. The fear of rejection made me tremble deep down to my bones.
I had my own circle of friends. I love meeting new people and connecting social circles – but I never in my wildest dreams imagined that I would be good enough to be friends with the high-school-elite.
Ten years later, my hair isn’t as frizzy. My zits are under control. And I would like to believe that I am secure enough with who I am deep down. Yet, when one of those past high school cheerleaders walked past me yesterday, the confident “hello” I have sported for the last eight years evaporated. I felt sixteen all over again, in a not-so-good way.
What is it about our lives, our dreams, and our goals that make us feel insecure. Why is it easier to believe that we are not qualified instead of embracing our goodness? Assuming that we are not enough is a far easier belief than it is to trust in God’s perfect hands that molded us into who we are.
In the book The Voice of Knowledge, written by Don Miguel Ruiz, he says “I am God’s creation. I do not need to be what I am not.” When we live a life trying to be other than what God created us to be, we walk around not understanding who we are and the power we have deep inside of us. He goes on to say, “what makes you powerful is your faith. When you agree to believe in something without a doubt, you invest your faith. If you have no doubt about something, then for you, it is your truth, even though it may be a lie. Your faith is so powerful that if you believe you are not good enough, you are not good enough! If you believe you will fail, you will fail, because that is the power of your faith.”
To believe that we are not good enough, is to believe that God is not good enough. To believe in our imperfections is to question God’s perfection. To constantly question our abilities, is to live in a state of trying to prove ourselves when we have nothing to prove. The fact that we inhale the breath of life each and every day is fact that God himself crafted our souls, our bodies, and our lives. That’s not to say that we shouldn’t try to improve each day… because we should. But we should strive from a place of love within our souls instead of a place of hate and contempt.
It feels dangerous – and slightly “edgy” – to believe in myself. To believe that I am good enough, that I will be good enough, and that I have always been good enough. To move my trust from hair care products and “hip” clothing to God, Himself. There will always be something new, another standard in the world because things change – but God’s love never does. We know that “God looks upon the heart” and that His love is constant.
Picasso was an amazing artist. He took the world, altered it, and made art. If he were to paint my painting today, it would not resemble what I see in the mirror…although Picasso might argue that that is how he sees me. There are many Picassos out there in the world, painting distorted images about what it means to have value and internal worth. Their perception does not need to alter my viewpoint.
“You alone are enough. You have nothing to prove to anyone.” Said Maya Angelou. For a moment, I am going to put my goals to the side. Instead of rejecting my perfect today with dreams of perfectly organized houses, skinnier jeans, and published books – I am going to relish in the present moment of me. Because who we are right now is who we were created to be. “I am God’s creation. I do not need to be what I not.” I am enough.
angela stew 